|
| So. Im sitting im my brothers room in my bridesmaid dress from julias wedding. Feeling kinda sad. I watched because i said so...with mandy moore it was cute. I dont know. Im so tired of this stupid circle ive been in forever. Im tired of josh im tired of this stupid game im tired of me and my damn indecisons and lack of will power. Im so frustrated with everything. listening to relax by mika and feeling nastalgic. I want to be happy and i feel like i could be happy if I could just let go. I know my friends are tired of hearing about it and lord knows im tired of talking about it...even now! So yea. I dont know. what else to say. i got nothing. I think I look pretty though. ive piled my hair and im wearing bright lipstick. I belong in one of those tragic pictures. I am a tragic picture someone just needs to take a snapshot. | | |
| Wow has definitelty been a while since I wrote in this thing....ya so not with Justin T. anymore and havent been with him or Spoken to him for months. Don't even like him as amatter of fact. Since then......I had a "friend" that I was talking to for a while...he got a g/f. And I am just now finally not speaking to josh. Can't handle him, and at this point I don't want to. Josh and I had this whole fatal attraction thing going...I think we had a very unhealthy relationship....neither one of us really respected the other.....and yet we couldn't stay away from each other. Anyway it dosen't matter anymore because im not speaking to him anymore...as of yesterday. And hopefully I can hold strong to that. Because all he does is cause problems with no solutions. Ya I also really have this love hate thing going. I adore him sometimes and I hate him sometimes. If nothing else we had passion. Oh boy did we have passion. I need to stop going on about him. So im gonna do that now. | | |
| Ok so I think that I've been having my own version of freaking out. Justin freaked out by running from our realationship, and I freaked out by doing just the opposite. Instead of running away, I think ive been trying to get vows of commitment from him. He said that he wanted to take it slow and i've really been pushing him. And I know that I have. I'm still scared (and for good reason I think) that hes gonna just up and start pushing me away again. So i've been trying to get as close as possible. Now that I realize that i've been doing it though, I think that im ready to cool it. We both have out whole lives ahead of us and I don't see any reason to push things. If we work out we work out and if we don't then we shouldn't be together anyways. I will say one thing though.....If he decides that he dosen't want to be with me this time around...He won't get another chance to change his mind. If he breaks up with me again we are sooooo done. | | |
| Well. I haven't written in this thing in forever! Alot has happened since my last entry.ok So first off justin and I broke it off about a month ago. Well more like he did...I wanted to go steady...and he wouldn't commit. He kept distancing himself from me...and all kinds of good stuff like that. Well I bawled when we broke up....anyway on january 2nd he calls me up out of the blue and we talk, and for whatever reason he seems to have lost all (or at least most) of his commitment issues. He finally decided to be my boyfriend (Yay!!! justin and I are boyfriend-girlfriend!!!) As of yesterday (jan 3). However the bad news is that he is moving back to west virginia like friday...or even thursday. And he wants me to move back with him (not right now) but eventually. Like in a few months I think. So here I am, iv'e known this guy for 4 months 1 of which we didn't talk, and now, if he put a ring on my finger, i'd follow him to the ends of the earth. I don't know. Im kinda freeked out that I would actually marry Justin. Its just....crazy. Crazy,crazy,crazy. I just have no idea. I also think its crazy that we just became a couple yesterday, and im already thinking about a proposal. Yea. For the record iv'e been saying for a long time now that I always just kinda thought we'd end up together. I dont know. I think im just crazy right now. Im just gonna sit back and see if we can stay together during a long distance relationship....go up and spend the weekends with him sometimes....and if we can make it six months. Ill marry him. (if he asks) | | |
| I haven't written in this thing in forever! Im still talking to the guy that I wrote the last blog about. Wow. I haven't really felt that strongly about him (in a negative way) in a minute. I dunno. Im just kinda bored. Waiting for class to start. I guess that I haven't really had to much to write about...thats not really true. I just haven't had time. I still like justin its just that he wont commit and he irritates the hell out of me sometimes, so I really don't know why I like him so much, or why iv'e been seeing him on-and-off for THREE months now. O-well im not really worried about it. if it happens, it happens. I do want to see him sometime this week though. | | |
|
|